I've been dreaming lately - of beach vacations, bikini's, and cocktails. It partly has to do with the fact that our 10 year anniversary and my 40th birthday are this year so Brian and I are planning our first vacation alone together since the kids were born. OK, it has a lot to do with that, but I am excitedly dreaming of the cute sundresses, bathing suits (not a bikini though since the twins seriously messed up my stomach) that I will get to wear if I stay the course and meet my size goal. I can't wait for the real thing!
I am also day dreaming about all the things that will be or are easier because of the weight loss - skiing, playing tag with the kids, sitting on the floor for games & puzzles, riding rides, airplane seats...the list goes on. It's pretty amazing what doors open - physically, mentally, and emotionally - from losing a few pounds.
The funny thing about dreams is that you can be whatever size you want. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't tend to dream "skinny." However, with the hypnosis, she asks 2 questions on the very first session. First she asks how much weight you want to lose and second, what size you want to be. I think about these questions a lot and the meaning behind them. They conjure up an image of your "ideal" self or the self you want to be.
I was relatively conservative in my answers since I know what I can realistically maintain. As a result, one of my concerns is not being happy with what I think I want. I keep wondering - Will it be "skinny" enough? But, why worry about that now. Anything is better than what I was and it is all healthier. And really, I will only know the answer when I get there.
So, for today, I'm going with - "Don't Worry! Be Happy!"
Monday, January 7, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Jan 2nd - It may be a New Year, but the journey is well underway
Clearly, blogging is not my thing...I really want it to be, but it's simply not...life is so darn busy that I just am not finding or making the time to write. However, with the New Year upon us, I am going to try to write at least once a week.
Now, how to skinny down 4 months worth of weight loss into a single blog post? Well in 2 words - hypnosis ROCKS! I am down 4 pant sizes and I feel great. I still have a ways to go, but the impossible finally feels possible. I'm really looking forward to those cute size 10 red capris this summer! Heck, maybe I'll even shoot for size 8's! :)
I plan on going back to the hypnotist for a quick refresher course this month to keep the momentum going. However, I survived the holidays easy enough and, even though, I am starting to feel cravings and urges, I have not caved once. It's pretty amazing really.
You know the light at the end of the tunnel? I finally see it. For years, it's just been dark in that tunnel. In so many more ways than one. It's the sadness that becomes us when we feel completely overwhelmed by a task. It's the throw your hands up feeling and always giving in because the amount of weight to be lost is simply to much to bear. It's not feeling desirable. It's feeling like a failure, even though you know you are good at so many other things. But not this one thing. This one very important thing has always felt out of your reach.
And then it's not. You see the glimmer of hope and with it comes a sense of freedom. There is a lightness (literally and figuratively). There is a desire to be better - a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better employee...a better everything. There is a feeling of, well, balance that has come with the hypnosis and, that, I wouldn't change for the world. It was worth every penny. Luckily, Brian agrees. :)
I am finding new and creative ways to cook. I am more aware of what I feed my kids and making better choices for them. I'm not perfect with them yet, but one step at a time, right? And, we continue to make changes to eliminate the artificial ingredients and preservatives in our food and how we store them.
At the end of the day, what matters most to me is the fact that I am healthier for myself and for my family. My blood pressure and cholesterol are way down. I have more energy and there's a little spring in my step that hasn't been there for awhile. I am happy. I am balanced. And, most importantly, I believe!
I am looking forward to more posts and to a very skinny year!
~peace~
Now, how to skinny down 4 months worth of weight loss into a single blog post? Well in 2 words - hypnosis ROCKS! I am down 4 pant sizes and I feel great. I still have a ways to go, but the impossible finally feels possible. I'm really looking forward to those cute size 10 red capris this summer! Heck, maybe I'll even shoot for size 8's! :)
I plan on going back to the hypnotist for a quick refresher course this month to keep the momentum going. However, I survived the holidays easy enough and, even though, I am starting to feel cravings and urges, I have not caved once. It's pretty amazing really.
You know the light at the end of the tunnel? I finally see it. For years, it's just been dark in that tunnel. In so many more ways than one. It's the sadness that becomes us when we feel completely overwhelmed by a task. It's the throw your hands up feeling and always giving in because the amount of weight to be lost is simply to much to bear. It's not feeling desirable. It's feeling like a failure, even though you know you are good at so many other things. But not this one thing. This one very important thing has always felt out of your reach.
And then it's not. You see the glimmer of hope and with it comes a sense of freedom. There is a lightness (literally and figuratively). There is a desire to be better - a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better employee...a better everything. There is a feeling of, well, balance that has come with the hypnosis and, that, I wouldn't change for the world. It was worth every penny. Luckily, Brian agrees. :)
I am finding new and creative ways to cook. I am more aware of what I feed my kids and making better choices for them. I'm not perfect with them yet, but one step at a time, right? And, we continue to make changes to eliminate the artificial ingredients and preservatives in our food and how we store them.
At the end of the day, what matters most to me is the fact that I am healthier for myself and for my family. My blood pressure and cholesterol are way down. I have more energy and there's a little spring in my step that hasn't been there for awhile. I am happy. I am balanced. And, most importantly, I believe!
I am looking forward to more posts and to a very skinny year!
~peace~
Friday, September 21, 2012
Sept 21st - Has it been that long! OYE!
Has it really been 44 days?? I'm wondering where the time goes and how does it slip by so fast? August was incredibly busy with trying to fill the final days of summer with fun, sun, and BBQ's. September is creeping by just as fast with a child starting Kindergarten and adjusting to a new schedule (or a new form a chaos really).
Now, about the journey to healthier living...not much was accomplished in August. I let myself get swept away in the summer activities and then had a week long trip to Orlando for work, so August slipped into September and here we are - 44 days later with not much to show for it, but that's ok...because this is about a journey -good, bad, and everything in between.
However, it's with a rejuvenated outlook and a shift in my way of thinking that I am back on track and feeling great!
Here's what happened, around the time I started this blog, my husband suggested I try hypnosis. After some research, a friend of a friend suggested a woman out in Springfield, MA. I called and there was a 6-month waiting period. To cut a long story short, 2 weeks ago, I got a call that there was a cancellation. YIPEE for me! Call it fate, will of the gods, whatever, I was clearly struggling and in need of some intervention. I took the spot and am 1 week 1 day into the hypnosis.
Week 1 (Sept 13-20) was a huge success. I have no idea how much weight I lost (we are not allowed on the scale) nor do I care. I was in awe (and I mean AWE!) all week with how easy it was to follow the program. Gone was the resentment at having to "diet." Gone were the cravings for all things bad for me. I even went apple picking w/ the kids and watched everyone eat apples, cookies, and apple crisp with ice cream. Typically, I would have either caved or been angry that I couldn't participate. Not that day. I even went to buy the ice cream and watched with joy as everyone else enjoyed the treat.
Call me crazy, but for me, this hypnosis stuff really works. I have never participated so willingly in a program.
I'm changing - emotionally, mentally & physically. I feel it, and I like it!
What was so amazing to me is how freeing it is to just be and accept what is. I am eating things that will help my body heal and become what it really wants to be - healthy. Imagine that! The side effect - I'll be smaller. :)
And, really, is that what this journey is all about - changing how I live in order to really LIVE!
Now, about the journey to healthier living...not much was accomplished in August. I let myself get swept away in the summer activities and then had a week long trip to Orlando for work, so August slipped into September and here we are - 44 days later with not much to show for it, but that's ok...because this is about a journey -good, bad, and everything in between.
However, it's with a rejuvenated outlook and a shift in my way of thinking that I am back on track and feeling great!
Here's what happened, around the time I started this blog, my husband suggested I try hypnosis. After some research, a friend of a friend suggested a woman out in Springfield, MA. I called and there was a 6-month waiting period. To cut a long story short, 2 weeks ago, I got a call that there was a cancellation. YIPEE for me! Call it fate, will of the gods, whatever, I was clearly struggling and in need of some intervention. I took the spot and am 1 week 1 day into the hypnosis.
Week 1 (Sept 13-20) was a huge success. I have no idea how much weight I lost (we are not allowed on the scale) nor do I care. I was in awe (and I mean AWE!) all week with how easy it was to follow the program. Gone was the resentment at having to "diet." Gone were the cravings for all things bad for me. I even went apple picking w/ the kids and watched everyone eat apples, cookies, and apple crisp with ice cream. Typically, I would have either caved or been angry that I couldn't participate. Not that day. I even went to buy the ice cream and watched with joy as everyone else enjoyed the treat.
Call me crazy, but for me, this hypnosis stuff really works. I have never participated so willingly in a program.
I'm changing - emotionally, mentally & physically. I feel it, and I like it!
What was so amazing to me is how freeing it is to just be and accept what is. I am eating things that will help my body heal and become what it really wants to be - healthy. Imagine that! The side effect - I'll be smaller. :)
And, really, is that what this journey is all about - changing how I live in order to really LIVE!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Aug 7th...motivation
There were a lot of motivating things this past weekend that kept me relatively on track - comfort on the rides, pushing a double stroller in 90 degree heat, seeing all the other heavy people and realizing I don't want to be in that category anymore. However, the biggest motivator is my kids. Of course, I want to be healthy for my kids, and I want my kids to be proud of me and not embarrassed by me. However, in all honesty, the real motivator is in the things they say. Now I know that they are completely innocent and only curious. But all the same, the truth hurts! They are at the age now (5 1/2 and 3) where they notice and question differences. They ask why my belly (& butt) are so big. Like I hadn't noticed! We have been talking a lot lately about getting healthy and exercising - so "your belly will be smaller, Mommy?" Yes, sweetie! We are now having lessons in what is appropriate to say, but really do I want to be the subject of these lessons? Not so much. Is that fair to them? It's not. So my motivation is that I want to change that! I want the lesson to be if you put your mind to something, you can achieve anything. Good news - even after a long weekend away, when I weighed myself Monday morning I was down 3 lbs. Let the life lessons begin!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Aug 3rd - Storyland
So only 4 days in I face my first big challenge -Storyland!! We are headed there for a 3 day weekend. Yup. Nothing like adding an amusement park and all the delious food that comes with eating out. I'm sure I won't be perfect, but being prepared should help quite a bit. I have packed tons of snacks - orange slices, grapes, granola bars, etc. I'm excited for the challenge, and I'm sure the ride seats will keep me motivated. I just need to make as many good choices as I can. I'll celebrate those and forgive myself for the rest. After all there is always Monday, and this is a journey that is not going to be defined by a 3 day weekend!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Aug 1st...the weigh in
So as luck would have it, I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I was able to have an "official" weight check. Was it good news, no! Am I going to share the #, absolutely not. Not yet anyway. I haven't decided yet how much of that I will publicly share. What I will share is that I was horrified and it confirmed that something really does need to be done. NOW! I am lucky that I don't have any medical issues as a result of my weight, but why wait until that happens. They are right around the corner just waiting to complicate my life. Did I mention that I am a busy mom of 3 kids who works full-time? I don't need medical complications that's for sure.
My goal today was to just make a few better choices and accept victory at making those choices. So here's what I chose - a banana for breakfast instead of a bagel or nothing. I won't give up my coffee, but I did choose to not stop for a 2nd cup when I got to work. For lunch, I went to Chipolte because it's my favorite and there is one next door to the doctor. I got my usual salad, but asked for super light on the sour cream and cheese. I think I got a tablespoon of each instead of the cup or so they usually pile on. And you know what, it was still really good. I'll have to check on the calories and fat in the dressing, so next time maybe I'll 1/2 that too. Then, I buckled and had a handful of sunflower seeds, but stopped at a handful and chose grapes instead.
So my journey today is about choices. Everything I eat and drink is a choice. I just have to keep making the right ones and the balance my body craves will soon follow. I truly believe that!
My goal today was to just make a few better choices and accept victory at making those choices. So here's what I chose - a banana for breakfast instead of a bagel or nothing. I won't give up my coffee, but I did choose to not stop for a 2nd cup when I got to work. For lunch, I went to Chipolte because it's my favorite and there is one next door to the doctor. I got my usual salad, but asked for super light on the sour cream and cheese. I think I got a tablespoon of each instead of the cup or so they usually pile on. And you know what, it was still really good. I'll have to check on the calories and fat in the dressing, so next time maybe I'll 1/2 that too. Then, I buckled and had a handful of sunflower seeds, but stopped at a handful and chose grapes instead.
So my journey today is about choices. Everything I eat and drink is a choice. I just have to keep making the right ones and the balance my body craves will soon follow. I truly believe that!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Jul 31st...getting started
As a busy mom, I find it incredibly difficult to eat healthy much less exercise. It is so much easier and tastier to choose the crap! However, I am going to attempt to lose weight and get healthy for myself and for my family. I have been listening to a podcast about being a busy mom and the importance of taking care of myself first and foremost. Because let's face it, being able to be good mom, wife, daughter, employee, etc stems from how you feel about yourself, how much energy you have, and how much patience you have. And, trust me, being overweight is not helping one bit. We all know that there are many many benefits to building and maintaining a healthy life. I have done Jenny Craig with decent success (pre-twins I'll add) and while that is good and well and something I could do, I really want to change the way I think, feel, and react to food. I really want to teach my children the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So, while I can diet, I have been choosing not to. So while I can find time to exercise, I have been choosing not to. I am not sure why I am struggling with it so much this time, but I am. I really don't want to do it, but I want it more than anything. So here I am, starting a blog-per-say to document my journey, track my success, and share my failures. But at the end of the day, I really want to be able to look back and see what it took to believe in myself and to remember the long journey, so I never get back to where I am today. And, fitting into a much smaller pair of jeans is a great side benefit! I want my kids, my husband, and my family to be proud of me. I want to be that woman on the beach where people comment, "I can't believe she has 3 kids!" instead of "When are you due?"
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