Feb 13th - Getting out of the hamster cage

Have you ever thought of your life like living in a hamster cage? I hadn't until a few weeks ago.  But I think it's true in a sense - I live surrounded by 4 walls and, generally, my days are pretty predictable - wake up, get dressed, drop of kids, go to work, pick up kids, come home, cook dinner, baths, bedtime...you get the idea.

So, one of the things I have been thinking of is how to fit exercise into my day and breaking free from the hamster cage.

Here is the advice I was given & I think it's pretty good -

As humans, it's pretty easy to just open the door. The sense of freedom will come from not following a program or joining a gym, but just at random, and whenever I can, opening the door and taking a quick walk - sun, rain, sleet or snow. Truly giving myself permission to get outside and get moving, so whether it's 5 minutes or 25 minutes anything is better than nothing. The end result is continuing to build a desire to do more exercise and reach a level of fitness I haven't seen in many, many years. :)

I don't have a specific goal in mind or anything, but I do believe that this is the next thing I need to make a priority in order to help me reach my pant size and, definitely, some thing that will be needed in order to keep my ass in them!

Sounds easy, right?

Feb 9th - A suggestion for stress

Something that is incredibly difficult for me is seeing the positive first.  I tend to be very quick to comment on all the things that aren't done or that I don't have. The dishes not being done, the house is a mess, the kids are fighting, the commute sucks, money, work ridiculousness...

I am working on this because it's important to me, and I certainly don't want to pass along to my children.

One of the suggestions I received recently was at night just before I fall asleep to think of 2 positive things that happened throughout the day - even the smallest of small things.  

When you recognize and acknowledge these things on a daily basis - and right before dream land - it is supposed to help you focus on the positive things that happen throughout the day instead of always heading down the rat hole of negative. And, therefore, helping reduce the stress (that is caused by focusing on the negative things) For me, it's so easy to get sucked into this way of thinking.

10 things I have thought of over the past week -

1. Liam gave me the biggest hug and kiss when he woke up
2. Morgan made a sticker chart for Liam to help him get rid of night time pull ups
3. Shannon snuggled with me on the couch & held my hand
4. Brian reminded the kids that I am not a servant to them and to speak nicely to Mommy
5. Listened to the kids giggle in the girls room.
6. Made muffins and cookies with my Monkeys (& being ok that I can't even lick my fingers)
7. Seeing the kids light up after a face time with Daddy while he was away (after we hung up of course)
8. Watched Peter Pan with the kids for the 1st time (& snuggled on the couch)
9. Brian took the time to make sure we were ready for Nemo.
10. Watched the sun peek through and making the snow glimmer

I'm pretty lucky aren't I? 

Jan 29th - Refresh, Reset, & Recommit

I'm calling this day one because I went in for a refresher session tonight and I feel as good as I did on Day 1 of the program - mentally. Physically, I feel a million times better. :-)

Technically, I am 4 1/2 months into the hypnosis program and the success so far has been pretty amazing!  Really, absolutely no complaints what-so-ever.

The reason I wanted to go in for the refresher is because I felt those tempting thoughts creeping back into my mind, and I wanted to push them away. I like not being bothered by the limited diet. I like feeling positive instead of negative about this new way of life. I mean, who wouldn't, right?

The finish line to my goal pant size is in view (2-3 more sizes to go). I want to get there as fast as I can, so I can start the long, hard process re-training my body and mind to accept that this new weight is THE weight! I have no misconception that it's going to be easy, but I'm pretty excited to take on the challenge.

I also feel energized and interested in exercise, so that will help a ton! Can you believe I have done all of this without any exercise? It's pretty crazy.  I finally feel like I am at a point where I am capable of exercising and am eager to build up my core strength. I am remembering how it felt to play field hockey, lacrosse, run a marathon, ski all day. I can't wait to feel that strong again.  What an amazing thing to feel - especially as I welcome the big 4-0 in December.

So while I am busier than ever, I feel (today anyway) incredibly balanced with work, family, life, ect. This journey has given me a renewed belief in myself that anything and everything is possible.

And that's why I am resetting the clock to Day 1...

Jan 25th - Miles and miles of candy

One of the hardest things about changing the way you eat is having to travel. This week, I attended a 3-day Sales Training in Atlanta.  It wasn't horrible, but it also was not on my top 10 list of things to do either.

Here is how I a managed - I figured I  was going to be hungry for most of the day until dinner and that I was going to drink a lot of coffee, tea, & water...A  LOT of it!

It's not even that I was tempted to "cheat." Well, until the the miles and miles of candy displayed on the final day during the afternoon break....but the good news while I thought to myself - 1 hot tamale or 1 gummy bear wouldn't be THAT bad would it?? I always answered with - YES stupid! It would  be THAT bad! It really felt like those candy tables were out on display for hours!

The real problem I had was finding food at the right time because I am only supposed to eat when I am hungry and not when I am not. A challenge when there are set meal times and meetings every minute in between. I ended up just eating when there were options within my food parameters. Luckily, I was pretty hungry at lunch and dinner, so it worked out ok. And lunch was better (not as in yummy better, but as in foods I can eat better - ie: plain chicken and veggies or salad).

We also went out to dinner both nights and with several substitutions, they were both meals were quite good. Luckily, I am past the embarrassment of being a complicated order-er at restaurants. Plus, my colleagues were fantastic at understanding and supporting which was a huge help.

So strangely, it really wasn't as bad as I expected. I wasn't all that hungry and with some pre-planning for dinners, those meals were really quite delicious.

I am always delighted when things work out better than expected. Because it is during those times I truly feel as if my life and habits are changing for good and for the better.

Oh -and cheers to the fact that I can still drink vodka!

Jan 17th - An unexpected uplift

It is my belief that everyone loves to be complimented, and I am no exception. I truly appreciate all of them, and let it be known that this post isn't about seeking more of them.  It is about one in particular touched me a few weeks ago and provided an uplift I needed.

It also got me thinking about the value of a good, true, heartfelt compliment and that I need to give more of them.

This leads into something else I have been working on - becoming a better listener. I believe the great compliment I received is because the giver was actually listening to my story.  The value of the compliment comes not from the words said, but because, as the receiver, you feel really listened to.

Her compliment, "I'm proud of you!" There was more to it, of course, but that's the phrase that stuck with me. In that moment, I truly felt proud of my accomplishments and how far I have come in this journey in what really is a short amount of time.

I'm sure this book club friend has no idea how much her words meant to me, but I am grateful that she took the time to share them and for giving me the motivation to keep truckin' along!

Take time to listen to your friends, family, co-workers, ect and when there is something to compliment - don't hold back, say it!! And when complimented, say "Thank You! I really appreciate that!"

So to Linda, thank you for your thoughtful word. I really appreciated them!

Jan 7th - Dreaming

I've been dreaming lately - of beach vacations, bikini's, and cocktails.  It partly has to do with the fact that our 10 year anniversary and my 40th birthday are this year so Brian and I are planning our first vacation alone together since the kids were born. OK, it has a lot to do with that, but I am excitedly dreaming of the cute sundresses, bathing suits (not a bikini though since the twins seriously messed up my stomach) that I will get to wear if I stay the course and meet my size goal. I can't wait for the real thing!

I am also day dreaming about all the things that will be or are easier because of the weight loss - skiing, playing tag with the kids, sitting on the floor for games & puzzles, riding rides, airplane seats...the list goes on.   It's pretty amazing what doors open - physically, mentally, and emotionally - from losing a few pounds.

The funny thing about dreams is that you can be whatever size you want.  I don't know about anyone else, but I don't tend to dream "skinny."  However, with the hypnosis, she asks 2 questions on the very first session. First she asks how much weight you want to lose and second, what size you want to be. I think about these questions a lot and the meaning behind them. They conjure up an image of your "ideal" self or the self you want to be.

I was relatively conservative in my answers since I know what I can realistically maintain. As a result, one of my concerns is not being happy with what I think I want. I keep wondering - Will it be "skinny" enough? But, why worry about that now. Anything is better than what I was and it is all healthier. And really, I will only know the answer when I get there.

So, for today, I'm going with - "Don't Worry! Be Happy!"

Jan 2nd - It may be a New Year, but the journey is well underway

Clearly, blogging is not my thing...I really want it to be, but it's simply not...life is so darn busy that I just am not finding or making the time to write. However, with the New Year upon us, I am going to try to write at least once a week.

Now, how to skinny down 4 months worth of weight loss into a single blog post? Well in 2 words - hypnosis ROCKS! I am down 4 pant sizes and I feel great. I still have a ways to go, but the impossible finally feels possible. I'm really looking forward to those cute size 10 red capris this summer! Heck, maybe I'll even shoot for size 8's! :)

I plan on going back to the hypnotist for a quick refresher course this month to keep the momentum going. However, I survived the holidays easy enough and, even though, I am starting to feel cravings and urges, I have not caved once. It's pretty amazing really.

You know the light at the end of the tunnel? I finally see it. For years, it's just been dark in that tunnel. In so many more ways than one. It's the sadness that becomes us when we feel completely overwhelmed by a task. It's the throw your hands up feeling and always giving in because the amount of weight to be lost is simply to much to bear. It's not feeling desirable. It's feeling like a failure, even though you know you are good at so many other things. But not this one thing. This one very important thing has always felt out of your reach.

And then it's not. You see the glimmer of hope and with it comes a sense of freedom. There is a lightness (literally and figuratively). There is a desire to be better - a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better employee...a better everything. There is a feeling of, well, balance that has come with the hypnosis and, that, I wouldn't change for the world. It was worth every penny. Luckily, Brian agrees. :)

I am finding new and creative ways to cook. I am more aware of what I feed my kids and making better choices for them. I'm not perfect with them yet, but one step at a time, right? And, we continue to make changes to eliminate the artificial ingredients and preservatives in our food and how we store them.

At the end of the day, what matters most to me is the fact that I am healthier for myself and for my family.  My blood pressure and cholesterol are way down. I have more energy and there's a little spring in my step that hasn't been there for awhile. I am happy. I am balanced. And, most importantly, I believe!

I am looking forward to more posts and to a very skinny year!

~peace~